Welcome to the Internet! June 9, 2008

A 10-year-old boy sits at his computer playing Maple Story, an online game. A 15-year-old girl confesses her love for her neighbor over facebook. A 35-year-old man plays Webkinz. A 50-year-old watches YouTube videos that she was sent in an email. A 16-year-old-boy talks to the girl he likes in an Instant Message.

A13-year old girl talks to the 10-year-old and they become friends even though they have never talked in person. The neighbor receives the message and replies (hmm I wonder what happens?) A 5-year-old sits on her Dad’s lap as they play Webkinz. The 35-year-old-man continues to play Webkinz (he is playing because he likes it. If you are thinking something else than you have issues). An eighteen-year-old looks at his YouTube page and is overjoyed to learn he has gotten forty-two hits. A 17-year-old-girl talks on IM to the 16-year-old boy, oblivious of his crush.

This is the Internet. This is a computer. This is technology. This is SPARTA!!! (Just kidding on that last one). The Internet is an interesting thing. It is a collection of millions of people. Most have never even heard of each other and yet we are all connected. We watch a YouTube video. We play online games. We go on Facebook. By “we” I mean the countless number of people who go online each day. Yes, maybe they don’t do all of those things, but most likely they do one. Even if they don’t, there are loads of other things to do on the Internet. We read, watch, look at, laugh at, cry about, share, get mad at, criticize, agree with, learn about, etc, about all things.

It is both comforting and disturbing. It is nice to think that even though there are countless people in this world you are connected to them somehow (even if it is just because you are both looking at some “fat” “Dutch” kid singing “the Numma Numma song”). It is strange/bothersome to think of what you are connected to by being on the Internet, the strangers, the rapists, the psychos, or even if it’s just something other than the little circle of your life; either way you are connected.

The Internet is an important tool. It is like the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy come to life. It is also like a “person-connector” (that is the best way that I could put it). The vastness is unthinkable. It is like trying to count the stars in the sky. I am sure they have figures out there, but they are really meaningless. Here, let me help you out, save you the trouble of looking it up. There are A LOT of people on the Internet. It is a bottomless pit of information, false information, porn, random crap, and other things.

On the Internet we all communicate. We talk to people on forums and we debate. We try to convince people of things, and yet we have never even met them before. It is strange. We may never talk to a coworker, or a classmate, or a neighbor, and yet we could talk to them on the Internet, perhaps every day. There is no true way of knowing if we don’t identify ourselves (I would not really recommend actually doing this *See last paragraph of blog entry). How do you know with whom you are speaking? There are no major rules that would affect the average person. There’s nothing saying you can’t lie-at least I don’t think there is. 2+2=22 (2+2=4).

What is even more interesting is that people interact online, beyond just talking. There is online dating and the like. There are also games like Maple Story where loads of people play together in one game. They talk, trade, give, and take. It is far from real life. Despite the cheating and stealing that occasionally goes on in this game, there are a few good things too. People can join parties were they work together. People give help to those on a lesser level than them. They don’t know these people at all. They probably have never met them, but they help each other, make friends, and even enemies. It is as if it is an imitation of real life.

Then there is the YouTube viral video phenomenon. It is people putting videos up of themselves for everyone to see. It must be their attempt at 15 minutes of fame and sometimes it actually works. They dance or do some amazing feat and the population of the Internet flocks to the video. You are then connected with the other people who watched the same video as you did. You can even leave comments on their video. The Internet is big. Who really is Technoblogger6627? (I made him up.) We never really know who these people are and yet we watch THEIR videos and maybe even enjoyed them.

There are times I wonder if the Internet does more good than bad. Who’s to say? It is a thing, one of the many things that exist today. It is just there. There is no one forcing you on the Internet. But you will go- people ALWAYS go.

** Important information from subscript AB (pretend you know what I’m talking about and I will too)**

My name is Bloge Tekeno Lodgy. I live on 666 Intret Dr. I live in a small blue house (the one on the left). My social security number is 123-456-789. I am a short 110-year-old man. I have brown hair that is extremely straight. I currently have $456 dollars in my home and it is stashed underneath the floorboard, underneath my bed. I am away from my house from 2:30 pm until 5:00 Pm. If my living room (left most window) light is on I am home. I am weak and feeble and probably won’t be able to defend myself.

(**Disclaimer** Hate to break it to you, but I made ALL of that up. So, you can hang up the phone, stop talking to your buddies; get rid of your “plans.” If, for some strange reason, I used YOUR information then you are a freak and a very interesting person. If you did have plans, then get a life.)

Darn you stupid computer…No! Give it a hug June 4, 2008

I think computers are pretty cool (not too bright if you haven’t picked up on this)… Computers are these new-fangled devices that do things for us humans. Think of it as an extra brain so that we can digress into stupidity. They can’t really do too much, at the moment, but they’re going to revolutionize the world. Oh ya, they’re like the size of this room. Ya, it’s big, but THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES. We can already program it to do things like math and more maths. Maybe one day it will be able to do other things too. It all seams somewhat like magic. “Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons” (Popular Mechanics, March 1949.)

That was maybe 59 (depending on the quote), 40, 30, or 20 years ago, depending on how much the computer actually could do at that time. It took people hundreds of years to fully develop the wheel. A wheel! You know, the round thing that spins? Usually it moves things different places. A wheel is one of the simplest inventions and the computer is one of the most advanced. There are not many new, ground-breaking advancements for the wheel, but computer technology is updated practically every day. Not many people are a fan of this ever-changing computer contraption everybody is talking about.

The dislike is very popular among the older citizens of our society, but there are many who don’t like computers who aren’t over 110110 (…54! Gosh you noobs). “Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.” (Andy Rooney) “To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.” (Farmers’ Almanac) “If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.” (Robert X. Cringely) That is just a short sampling of their delirium.

It is insane to think that anyone could so bluntly disregard a very useful tool. People use computers every single day. They control the world. Without computers, where would we be? Computers control almost every aspect of our lives. Computers have revolutionized everything. Art, music, messaging, writing, computers have changed everything. Think about how many aspects of your life are controlled by computers. The box that you received with the star wars dolls action-figures was categorized in a computer, maybe you were even watching the shipping status online waiting for it to come. The advertisement you got in the mail was probably designed on a computer and printed out on one too. The letter from your boss saying you had to come in on Sunday? You received that through email. Computers have controlled everything we do and usually for the better. If anything, think of what computers have done for the economy? They have created thousands of jobs. They have created a whole new dimension of products that can be created.

The reasons why people don’t like computers are that computers don’t live up to their expectations, or they do not understand computers or how to use them. Almost every science fiction novel that I have ever read contained a computer. The problem with this is that computers gained a stereotype that they must be able to do everything. The computers are usually portrayed doing things that our computers aren’t close to being able to do. It is unfair to assume that our computers of today can do the same thing that the ones in the books do. Think of a simple tool like a hammer. When using a hammer, I occasionally slip and hit my finger or miss the nail or drop the hammer or do some other stupid mistake involving the hammer. We don’t curse the hammer. The hammer is a tool that includes imperfections just like everything else in life. Why can’t we view a computer as a tool and treat it as such? Computers have imperfections, but so does everything else. They will probably never be able to live up to our expectations. A computer is a tool and only that. It can be a tool that is your friend, but it might hurt your feelings once and a while.

Then there is the problem of people not understanding computers. The reason why older people in our society have trouble understanding computers is because they did not grow up with them. It must be a certain type of special-thinking-jibber-jabber. For some reason they can not put two and two together (Did you get the hidden underlining joke? Cannot is supposed to be one word and I said they can not put two and two together Oh ho ho ha ha ha I am so terribly funny). I don’t blame them. I’m sure there are many things made before my time that I would have a lot of trouble trying to figure out too.

I think computers are pretty cool (ooo look at that controlling purpose, sorry if you don’t understand, but you should have paid more attention in English class. Spell check can’t do everything.) They do a lot for the world, and me so you better darn agree with me because if you don’t I will hunt you down. I will find your computer and I will shove my foot up your…nose. That’s when I’ll send you and the computer to therapy sessions, working out your differences and becoming best friends forever. Living happily ever after. Sure you don’t have a life or someone else to share your nonexistent life, but you have your computer and IT won’t tell you to go clean the dishes. Hey, maybe you can even program it to pour you a warm glass of milk and rub your belly as it reads bedtime stories. *Monotone computer voice* Once upon a time there was a computer and…