Uberfetch Technology

Welcome to the Internet! June 9, 2008

A 10-year-old boy sits at his computer playing Maple Story, an online game. A 15-year-old girl confesses her love for her neighbor over facebook. A 35-year-old man plays Webkinz. A 50-year-old watches YouTube videos that she was sent in an email. A 16-year-old-boy talks to the girl he likes in an Instant Message.

A13-year old girl talks to the 10-year-old and they become friends even though they have never talked in person. The neighbor receives the message and replies (hmm I wonder what happens?) A 5-year-old sits on her Dad’s lap as they play Webkinz. The 35-year-old-man continues to play Webkinz (he is playing because he likes it. If you are thinking something else than you have issues). An eighteen-year-old looks at his YouTube page and is overjoyed to learn he has gotten forty-two hits. A 17-year-old-girl talks on IM to the 16-year-old boy, oblivious of his crush.

This is the Internet. This is a computer. This is technology. This is SPARTA!!! (Just kidding on that last one). The Internet is an interesting thing. It is a collection of millions of people. Most have never even heard of each other and yet we are all connected. We watch a YouTube video. We play online games. We go on Facebook. By “we” I mean the countless number of people who go online each day. Yes, maybe they don’t do all of those things, but most likely they do one. Even if they don’t, there are loads of other things to do on the Internet. We read, watch, look at, laugh at, cry about, share, get mad at, criticize, agree with, learn about, etc, about all things.

It is both comforting and disturbing. It is nice to think that even though there are countless people in this world you are connected to them somehow (even if it is just because you are both looking at some “fat” “Dutch” kid singing “the Numma Numma song”). It is strange/bothersome to think of what you are connected to by being on the Internet, the strangers, the rapists, the psychos, or even if it’s just something other than the little circle of your life; either way you are connected.

The Internet is an important tool. It is like the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy come to life. It is also like a “person-connector” (that is the best way that I could put it). The vastness is unthinkable. It is like trying to count the stars in the sky. I am sure they have figures out there, but they are really meaningless. Here, let me help you out, save you the trouble of looking it up. There are A LOT of people on the Internet. It is a bottomless pit of information, false information, porn, random crap, and other things.

On the Internet we all communicate. We talk to people on forums and we debate. We try to convince people of things, and yet we have never even met them before. It is strange. We may never talk to a coworker, or a classmate, or a neighbor, and yet we could talk to them on the Internet, perhaps every day. There is no true way of knowing if we don’t identify ourselves (I would not really recommend actually doing this *See last paragraph of blog entry). How do you know with whom you are speaking? There are no major rules that would affect the average person. There’s nothing saying you can’t lie-at least I don’t think there is. 2+2=22 (2+2=4).

What is even more interesting is that people interact online, beyond just talking. There is online dating and the like. There are also games like Maple Story where loads of people play together in one game. They talk, trade, give, and take. It is far from real life. Despite the cheating and stealing that occasionally goes on in this game, there are a few good things too. People can join parties were they work together. People give help to those on a lesser level than them. They don’t know these people at all. They probably have never met them, but they help each other, make friends, and even enemies. It is as if it is an imitation of real life.

Then there is the YouTube viral video phenomenon. It is people putting videos up of themselves for everyone to see. It must be their attempt at 15 minutes of fame and sometimes it actually works. They dance or do some amazing feat and the population of the Internet flocks to the video. You are then connected with the other people who watched the same video as you did. You can even leave comments on their video. The Internet is big. Who really is Technoblogger6627? (I made him up.) We never really know who these people are and yet we watch THEIR videos and maybe even enjoyed them.

There are times I wonder if the Internet does more good than bad. Who’s to say? It is a thing, one of the many things that exist today. It is just there. There is no one forcing you on the Internet. But you will go- people ALWAYS go.

** Important information from subscript AB (pretend you know what I’m talking about and I will too)**

My name is Bloge Tekeno Lodgy. I live on 666 Intret Dr. I live in a small blue house (the one on the left). My social security number is 123-456-789. I am a short 110-year-old man. I have brown hair that is extremely straight. I currently have $456 dollars in my home and it is stashed underneath the floorboard, underneath my bed. I am away from my house from 2:30 pm until 5:00 Pm. If my living room (left most window) light is on I am home. I am weak and feeble and probably won’t be able to defend myself.

(**Disclaimer** Hate to break it to you, but I made ALL of that up. So, you can hang up the phone, stop talking to your buddies; get rid of your “plans.” If, for some strange reason, I used YOUR information then you are a freak and a very interesting person. If you did have plans, then get a life.)

 

Darn you stupid computer…No! Give it a hug June 4, 2008

Filed under: Review, life — uberfetch @ 6:58 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

I think computers are pretty cool (not too bright if you haven’t picked up on this)… Computers are these new-fangled devices that do things for us humans. Think of it as an extra brain so that we can digress into stupidity. They can’t really do too much, at the moment, but they’re going to revolutionize the world. Oh ya, they’re like the size of this room. Ya, it’s big, but THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES. We can already program it to do things like math and more maths. Maybe one day it will be able to do other things too. It all seams somewhat like magic. “Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons” (Popular Mechanics, March 1949.)

That was maybe 59 (depending on the quote), 40, 30, or 20 years ago, depending on how much the computer actually could do at that time. It took people hundreds of years to fully develop the wheel. A wheel! You know, the round thing that spins? Usually it moves things different places. A wheel is one of the simplest inventions and the computer is one of the most advanced. There are not many new, ground-breaking advancements for the wheel, but computer technology is updated practically every day. Not many people are a fan of this ever-changing computer contraption everybody is talking about.

The dislike is very popular among the older citizens of our society, but there are many who don’t like computers who aren’t over 110110 (…54! Gosh you noobs). “Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.” (Andy Rooney) “To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.” (Farmers’ Almanac) “If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.” (Robert X. Cringely) That is just a short sampling of their delirium.

It is insane to think that anyone could so bluntly disregard a very useful tool. People use computers every single day. They control the world. Without computers, where would we be? Computers control almost every aspect of our lives. Computers have revolutionized everything. Art, music, messaging, writing, computers have changed everything. Think about how many aspects of your life are controlled by computers. The box that you received with the star wars dolls action-figures was categorized in a computer, maybe you were even watching the shipping status online waiting for it to come. The advertisement you got in the mail was probably designed on a computer and printed out on one too. The letter from your boss saying you had to come in on Sunday? You received that through email. Computers have controlled everything we do and usually for the better. If anything, think of what computers have done for the economy? They have created thousands of jobs. They have created a whole new dimension of products that can be created.

The reasons why people don’t like computers are that computers don’t live up to their expectations, or they do not understand computers or how to use them. Almost every science fiction novel that I have ever read contained a computer. The problem with this is that computers gained a stereotype that they must be able to do everything. The computers are usually portrayed doing things that our computers aren’t close to being able to do. It is unfair to assume that our computers of today can do the same thing that the ones in the books do. Think of a simple tool like a hammer. When using a hammer, I occasionally slip and hit my finger or miss the nail or drop the hammer or do some other stupid mistake involving the hammer. We don’t curse the hammer. The hammer is a tool that includes imperfections just like everything else in life. Why can’t we view a computer as a tool and treat it as such? Computers have imperfections, but so does everything else. They will probably never be able to live up to our expectations. A computer is a tool and only that. It can be a tool that is your friend, but it might hurt your feelings once and a while.

Then there is the problem of people not understanding computers. The reason why older people in our society have trouble understanding computers is because they did not grow up with them. It must be a certain type of special-thinking-jibber-jabber. For some reason they can not put two and two together (Did you get the hidden underlining joke? Cannot is supposed to be one word and I said they can not put two and two together Oh ho ho ha ha ha I am so terribly funny). I don’t blame them. I’m sure there are many things made before my time that I would have a lot of trouble trying to figure out too.

I think computers are pretty cool (ooo look at that controlling purpose, sorry if you don’t understand, but you should have paid more attention in English class. Spell check can’t do everything.) They do a lot for the world, and me so you better darn agree with me because if you don’t I will hunt you down. I will find your computer and I will shove my foot up your…nose. That’s when I’ll send you and the computer to therapy sessions, working out your differences and becoming best friends forever. Living happily ever after. Sure you don’t have a life or someone else to share your nonexistent life, but you have your computer and IT won’t tell you to go clean the dishes. Hey, maybe you can even program it to pour you a warm glass of milk and rub your belly as it reads bedtime stories. *Monotone computer voice* Once upon a time there was a computer and…

 

Uberfetch Technologic May 27, 2008

Filed under: Review, internet, life — uberfetch @ 6:44 am
Tags: , , , , ,

This is my blog. I usually write in it twice a week. According to Cyberjournalist.net on July 31, 2006, Technorati tracked its 50 millionth blog. That means that I am one of 50 million. That is a lot; not very good odds for me. I have a measly 266 page views, which although seems like a lot leaves me slightly dejected knowing how many views other blogs are receiving. If you are reading this blog YOU are one of 266, so congratulations. Hey! You have better odds than me, so you can feel more special than I do. With two blogs created each second, I am glad that you picked mine instead of the other one that was just created. What confuses me is, why?

Why do we all go online pouring out our thoughts, feelings, and ideas into a package for the rest of the inter-web to see? Do we feel that it is some sort of confessional, or is it simply a chance to make our mark on the world? For all we know, the next religion could be created off of a prophet’s blog (Okay, now if you are creating a religion off of me I will be very flattered, but a little creeped out. Please let me know though.) It’s as if creating a blog will allow us to join this greater movement. Those 266 people who read my blog were subjected to MY opinion. In makes me feel special.

Blog’s are a funny thing. They give people a chance to be a writer, even if they aren’t that good. It’s an editorial on anything by anyone. They give complete noobs a chance to pretend they are writing for the New York Times. People write journals and spend time trying to hide them from other people’s eyes. Why then, do us bloggers (Wow…I’m one of them) post these things online? Maybe they’re not really journals, but a collection of persuasive essays.

No offense to others, and myself, but who cares? Why do people care what John Smith has to say about the presidential primaries? But I still write them. I like writing in my blog, letting you poor, defenseless readers know how I feel about blogs, and technology in general. Is this my strange way to communicate with the world? If only I knew. I need to start talking to myself more (that’s something you don’t say to yourself everyday).

As time goes on everything these days is online. Things that used to be in “the real world” are now online. The real world is online. Blogs are our way of putting our ideas online. Why? Who knows? I do it and I guess loads of others do to. It’s a fad that will probably last. It does not really make sense, but not many things do. So I will continue to write and hopefully you, random reader (who probably just searched Google for something totally unrelated to this and my blog popped up) will continue to read.

 

Depression… May 26, 2008

Filed under: Gadget, Phone, Review, life — uberfetch @ 8:45 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I live in a constant vortex of despair and misery, where my life is a complex labyrinth of eternal pain and sorrow, intertwining into a universal, space time continuum of sadness, due to the ever-changing pendulum of intellectual thought focused on the betterment of human society, by creating certain machines and devices to revolutionize how people live their square lives of similarity, all because it is programmed into our human psyche, buried deep in the depths and folds of our minds, that controls our everyday behavior, forcing us so to conform to the rest, ridding us of our stupid and erratic behavior and all of this is because we feel that it is our purpose in life to improve our quality of life…I will never be truly happy with technology.

As I have stated before, I am a passionate gadget aficionado. As I sat in the car the other day, I began to think and came to a conclusion. I will never truly be happy with my technology. I will never be happy with the gadgets I have or the computer I use. I don’t have the money to own the pick of the crop, so I want the better version of the device I own. Even if, for some reason, I amassed a large fortune, I would only be happy until a new device came out.

The ever-changing technological world keeps me always wanting more or better. A phone with Bluetooth and WiFi could always use a GPS, or that phone could use a projector or THAT phone could always use a TV, or a teleporter, or some other new technology invented. I will never get to see the perfect wonder-device, because perfect is an unattainable idea, and it will probably just remain a theory. Not that I really need any of those extra features, but isn’t that what technology’s business platform is centered off of? Do we really need a phone that takes email, and pictures, and tells the time (OoOo Ahhhhh?) It seems as if the goal is to cram as many purposes into one device as possible and I love it. Seemingly, so does everybody else who buys the newest HTC TyTn II or the Iphone.

I have come to terms with my endless pain and suffering, all geeks have. That’s just part of the game. We are happy for a little while, until the newest device comes out. Maybe that’s why I’m so addicted, always searching for that one perfect device. That’s how many of us either end up wasting our money, living in a family member’s basement (no offense poor, defenseless geek, but you need to get a life or come to terms with yourself and expect insults), or creating the wonder-devices themselves. It’s an uneasy balance of desire and creation, where the winners are rich and successful, and the losers come out on the bottom, literally (I hear that basements can get moldy or sometimes they even flood.)

 

The speed-up of computers is the slow-down of our intelligence duh May 18, 2008

Ppl; spnd? a lot of time on comps, i know that u prbibly doo, because we lve in an age of tchnlgy, were cell phons, im, and email, trump sending a lettr and tlking face to fac. we have nno need to-wrry about speling and grmmer because of technlgys such as spell-check. what i <have, to wonder is if~ as (the) computers+becom smrter will we become dumberer

If you stumbled through that jumble, then you deserve congratulations. I can barely even understand the surplus of abbreviations, absence of vowels, misused words, and incorrect grammar marks. It was very difficult to write. Not simply because the grammar and spelling was atrocious, but because spell-check would not let me type “ i .“ Every time I would type it, spell-check would instantly capitalize it the instant I hit the space bar. Spell-check ALSO would not let me begin a sentence with a lower-case letter. At the moment, my first “paragraph” (if you can even call it that) is littered with red and green lines everywhere. As the youth of our nation grow up using the new technologies of today, I begin to wonder if that technology is lowering their intelligence.

I have never met anyone THAT bad that they have a paragraph like the one above, but many times I have seen words such as “are” being spelt as “r.” That is just the beginning of the mistakes made. If spell-check always corrects your spelling, how will you ever learn the real way to spell scintillating (It means clever. Oh, the irony!). Instead of learning mistakes and adjusting, all you have to do is click the ABC check-mark button and every mistake is instantly before your eyes, just a click away from being correct. Spell-check doesn’t know everything. It cannot tell the difference between problem words such as their, there, and they’re. It is in no case a panacea.

Computers getting smarter goes beyond spell-check. On most websites, if you type in a word wrong, a suggestion usually comes up on what YOU REALLY meant. “*typing* Fast small low budget laptop*click*…Did you mean: Asus Eee PC.” Google doesn’t even add a question mark! Computers are doing our math for us, our talking, even our listening. Why do we need these things? All we need to do is talk and our phones instantly call whomever we said. Technology is building a lazier, dumber, slower human.

That’s not to say I don’t use these technologies that are put right in front of me (I love technology.) I used spell-check numerous times when writing this. I’m a terrible speller and Google is constantly telling me what I really meant. I AM usually too lazy to do multiplication/division/squaring/etc. of long numbers in my head. This is what worries me. There is no way I will be able to get through my writing if I don’t have spell-check sitting next to me guiding my hand at every little step. We are on a downward spiral to the point where computers will do everything for us and to tell you the truth I enjoy going to the bathroom, writing my own thoughts, and many other activities by myself. Stupid Talking Toilet!!!

 

Your door is watching you… May 18, 2008

Filed under: Review, life — uberfetch @ 8:34 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

“Hello good sir. Welcome. You will be using toilet A338D778692K4. Please set your seat temperature. I will try to accommodate your every need during the duration of your stay. Would you like me to flush one or two times? Thank you, this toilet was brought to you by Charmin Ultra Soft. For those who prefer a little more SOFTNESS.” That is a robo-toilet. Maybe it was even invented by Kenmore. The ULTRA Talking Toilet! Will we ever live in a world where everything is computerized/animated? One word: Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

It is the writing material for hundreds of science-fiction writers everywhere. Almost every single future-story involves talking, inanimate objects. Why do people assume everything must be a friendly artificial-intelligence robot? It hasn’t happened yet. We still live in an environment where people must interact with one another. Doors do not welcome us as we walk through the threshold into our houses. Instead a dog, family member or nothing does. I don’t wish for the door to greet me every time I enter my house. Is it even something we should be trying to achieve? Why would we want everything to talk to us?

It has a sort of creepiness to it. If everything can talk to you, couldn’t everything watch you too? If it could talk to you, then it probably could talk to other people too. If this really does happen, then a door could be the prime suspect in a crime. Your coat rack could tell your guests about things you DON’T want them to know. “Hello guest of the ______ family. The other night my owner was drunk, thought I was his wife, and tried to kiss me.” What the coat rack might think is a witty and entertaining conversation, could really be revealing the most embarrassing, personal, or even illegal things.

Maybe it’s a good thing-maybe it’s not? It depends deeply on whom you ask. If, by saying that everything is animated, am I already assuming that people are going to abuse it? Is this the start of the telescreen and big brother? I don’t know what’s going to happen. Eyes and ears everywhere definitely goes under invasion of privacy, but it’s not like they’re forcing you to install a generation two, A36, smart-door in every home. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. For all I know this, or anything like this, is never going to happen. I’ve just begun to think (big mistake there). So, if this is what is written in sci-fi books everywhere, then is this what we are striving towards. Yes, it is science FICTION, but will it ever become reality? There are too many questions to start worrying about it now. So, from now on when you walk up to the door, you can to talk to it, that’s fine (I guess). But if the door talks back, that is when you should start to be worried, because for all I know, doors are still doors. They open, they close and they won’t tell you about the dead body buried around back.

 

Top 12 Movies that you must watch…OR ELSE… May 13, 2008

1. Pan’s Labyrinth

Pan’s Labyrinth is a mystifying tale about a young girl and how she deals with the Spanish revolution and her other problems…or is it? The movie is so thoughtfully complex, that it’s up to you to deduce what is going on. Guillermo del Toro, the director of the movie, masterfully spins both fiction and non-fiction into one spectacular story where you decide if the entire movie is actually happening, or if it is just in the mind of the main character Ophelia. The ending leaves you with a confusing sense of both loss and hope, leaving the feeling that you get at the end of the movie up to you.

2. Star Wars

(Insert Star Wars opening theme here.) In the hearts of thousands of geeks and nerds everywhere (including me) Star Wars truly revolutionized the movie industry. How can you not love R2D2, C3P0, or Chewbacca? No matter how many times I’ve seen these movies I find myself always on the edge of my chair. The movies provide just enough science fiction, action, and romance to satisfy almost all moviegoers. The special effects (even in the first three Star Wars movies made) and soundtrack by John Williams causes Star Wars to transport you into the world of the Jedi. So whip out your lightsaber and let’s go!

3. Driving Lessons

Another independent movie from the UK, Driving Lessons is a wonderful story about a boy who gets a job working for the standard old lady next store. Although the lady is eccentric and drinks a lot, this movie is anything but clichéd. The shy main character, Ben Marshall, played by Harry Potter’s Rupert Grint, ends up befriending the lady, to the point where they are reading poetry together, and you find yourself thinking of the old lady as a young girl. As you see both characters change, you find yourself reflecting on the joys of your own life and realizing that happiness is where you find it. This is a feel good movie that is definitely worth seeing.

4. About a Boy

It’s unbelievable how directors Chris and Paul Weitz manage to combine both tragedy and comedy in such a breathtakingly wonderful package. The two main characters, Will and Marcus, are immature enough as to be relatable to the common movie watcher, yet different enough to not be the classic “I will gradually mature over the movie” characters. The movie is very cohesive as the comedy is stuck in just the right spots. “It was terrible, just terrible, but riding behind the ambulance was fantastic!” As the movie reaches a climax near the end, and Hugh Grant’s character, Will, is on stage with Marcus you want to cringe, and yet you can’t look away. In the end of the movie, you can see the true friendship that is created through the two characters and the maturity that they both brought to each other.

5. Billy Elliott

Follow your dreams no matter what it takes. This is the message that is embedded in the movie, Billy Elliot. The movie is about a dad’s struggle to come to terms with his son’s disinterest in boxing and love of dancing. The movie really breaks the mold because it shatters the common stereotype: Billy Elliot is the son who loves to dance, while his friend is the one who is gay. Intertwined in Billy Elliott’s discovered dream of dancing, you also get to witness the dad’s realization of his son’s dreams. This allows you, as a watcher of this wonderful film, to realize your own dreams.

6. James Bond

Bam! James Bond runs out, a girl in one hand, a gun in the other. James Bond is the hero of many, being on the top of this list of mine, and how can he not? James Bond always wins, never dies, always gets the girl and has the coolest gadgets. Unlike many superheroes, he didn’t even have to be bit by a radioactive-something. Every single movie has the same elements of the classic James Bond movie, yet in every single one I find myself watching, not knowing what will happen, rooting for the man who I know has to win and get the girl. James Bond was shot in the chest!…but it missed his heart by centimeters. You too, will find yourself cheering for the man who cannot lose.

7. Sneakers

Creepy, but I have sometimes thought about how to break into a bank. In the movie Sneakers, a bunch of guys run a company that is hired to break into banks and other companies to test their security systems, and frankly, I am jealous. This movie focuses on espionage and is a movie for any technology lover, not that they have gadgets. Actually, I don’t believe there were any other than the occasional cell phone, but there are plenty of computers and the like to satisfy even a big geek like me. Even the non-geek has to be intrigued by seeing a blind man as a skillful code hacker using a brail-like computer device. Just watching the movie makes you want to go rob a bank; not that I would suggest actually doing that. This movie is a must-see for technology buffs, hackers, espionage lovers, or someone just looking for a darn good movie.

8. The Illusionist

This movie is a lie…literally. I can’t possibly say more than that without giving away the movie, but I’ll try. This movie is pure magic and not just in the tricks that are performed throughout the movie. It is truly a masterpiece. There are so many hidden elements that are placed throughout the movie, that you will have to watch the movie more than once to understand what truly happened, but it is worth it. I will end there, because to describe the sparkle, you will have to experience this movie for yourself.

9. Singing in the Rain

“I’m singing in the rain…just singing in the rain…” You will find yourself humming along long after each song has ended. Singing in the Rain is a true classic. This is one of the movies that inspired me to start tap dancing. The choreography is spectacular and you will want to try just as badly as I did to run up a wall and do a back flip. -What makes this movie different from other classics of its era, is the catchiness of the songs that stand out and do not blend into the typical music scene. Trust me, the next rainy day you will find yourself wanting to tap dance, singing in the rain.

10. Big Fish

This movie starts at a relatively slow pace (relative to the rest of the movie), but picks up, continuing until it is a whirlwind of confusion and chaos and you don’t know what’s real, or what’s just in the mind of one man’s dying father. The son, throughout the movie, constantly struggles with the father’s eccentric stories. As the father nears death, the son begins to understand the reason for his father’s outlandish stories. The real magic is found in the stories themselves. They resemble something that might be found in a movie such as the Princess Bride. The stories are all so individually amazing that a movie could be created off of each one, but together they create one amazing story, fit for everybody. This movie makes me want to go off and make some stories of my own, and I’m sure it will do the same for you.

11.  Mystery Men

I don’t know about you, but I have always wanted to be a superhero. This movie is about a rag-tag team of superheroes allows me to do just that. Hilariously funny in its own subtle way, it never really comes out with a specific joke

(well, maybe once or twice), but has an overall comedy feel such as the movie Zoolander. It is pretty funny. Yet, this movie is unlike many of the no-message comedies of today. It makes you realize that we ourselves make the superheroes, and that there is really a superhero in all of us.

12. Pirates of the Caribbean

Who hasn’t wanted to be a pirate? I have, and these movies allow me to live that fantasy. These movies are a swashbuckling good time…yar…matey. Pirates of the Caribbean contains just enough stereotypical pirate references to make it believable without making it cliché. They transport you into another world, where you find yourself rooting for the pirate and not the “good guys.” The films have amazing scores, which bring you even deeper into their universe. This collection of movies also contains enough humor to be considered a comedy, and a good amount of it is witty humor where they’re not just going for the easy joke. As these movies end, I always wish I could whip out a sword and go take over a ship.

 

**Welcome to Geekdom**!!! May 11, 2008

Filed under: Review, life — uberfetch @ 11:03 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Like many, many people in this world I ride a unicycle. I can also solve a Rubik’s cube. I only wear button down shirts and I spend all my time on the computer. I know a programming language. I get excited about learning, especially math. I guess that means I belong to the rare sect known as the geek.

I’m okay with my entrance into geekdom. I’ve come to an acceptance of my geeky status. I try to embrace it, as we all should. As time goes on, so does my geekiness. It grows exponentially until I am going to the computer store with my pocket protector and 21st century slide-rule. As I progress deeper into the vortex of my geekiness, perhaps society will too. If everyone around me is wearing a pocket protector I won’t stand out, but I find that hard to believe. If time progresses and converts geekiness into normal, then I’m sure I will find some other way to stoop to even more geekiness. Everything is relative. What is geeky anyways?

From my observations, it seems that if you do anything greatly involving computers, for fun, than you are officially branded a geek. There is no way to escape it. Once you have been labeled, you ARE labeled. The little icon above your head now says geek. Wait; maybe I have been playing computer games too long. That is just another aspect that contributes to my geekiness. It is a life long view of you amongst people you already know. If you come across people who you don’t know, you could try and avoid it, but if you have been called geek once, or even viewed as a geek once, chances are you will be labeled again.

Not only can you be labeled geek by your appearance or actions, but by association too. If all of your friends are geeks then you will be viewed as one too. Chances are they are all geeks because if you truly are a geek then no one other geeks would really want to hang out with you (Although there have been known to be a few strayers). This is the logic that that the NON-geeks probably use. I wouldn’t know because I have never been one. Does it really matter anyway? If you have come to the realization and acceptance of your geekiness wouldn’t you want geeky friends, butonly the spiffy ones? Right?

What bothers me is that all the noobs and muggles use geek as some sort of insult. They seem to think that it will somehow hurt our feelings. Maybe, they think if they call us geeks they will somehow compensate for their uncoolness. What is cool anyway? Cool is relative and I think that the vast majority of non-geeks are not as cool as geeks. All of the “geeks” that I have ever met have enjoyed being a geek. They have chosen it as a label, accept it, and are okay with what they will be called. They have chosen to be cool. OH YA.

 

>[] Television MADNESS! May 11, 2008

Filed under: Review, life — uberfetch @ 11:47 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Tv

I watch TV. I’m sure, no I’m positive, many people do too. I could look up a statistic on how many hours on average people spend watching TV, but I’m too lazy, I’m watching TV. I used to watch television more than I do now. Now, I just wither away my time on the computer, but I still spend some time watching television. It’s very complicated. I don’t watch television. Television watches me.

The FCC-mandated, digital television transition is beginning to edge up on us. “On February 17, 2009 all full-power broadcast television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting on analog airwaves and begin broadcasting only in digital. Digital broadcasting will allow stations to offer improved picture and sound quality and additional channels.” Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t agree with this national change. Who are they to say that we have to do this? Oh ya, they’re the FCC. I don’t see how we need the extra channels or the extra sound and picture quality.

With the little amount of time I do spend watching television, I don’t find myself wishing for better quality. I have no need to see the sweat or blemishes on people’s faces. I don’t want to see every little detail. I’m going to end up learning things that I don’t want. As the quality increases our illusion will decrease. With the better quality we will begin to see past the magic, trap doors and misdirection. Who wants to see the large amount of lint on a politicians suit? The famous will become humanized and although this could be a good thing, it’s going to disappoint people and abolish the hero.

If we start to increase the sound quality now, how far will we go? It’s the same way as with improved picture quality. Will we begin to hear the imperfections in the TV shows, the cough of the cameraman, every little rustle on set?

In this case, ignorance is bliss. I don’t want to be able to hear the realities of television. I don’t really know what is going to happen. For all I know I won’t even notice the difference. I hope I don’t. I am fine with the television I have now. I don’t want the extra channels and better quality. It might make me watch more television. That’s a bad thing. It just seems unnecessary and overkill to FORCE us to take these extra amenities. Aren’t they saying people are watching too much TV and that is the reason for increased cases of obesity. Then why, I ask you are they making the television watching experience more pleasurable?

So, this is a call to action! Run! Quickly to your nearest baseball bat. Go quickly over to your television. Now you are going to swing as hard as you can at that…but wait, STOP! I don’t really think it’s necessary to not participate in the change and give up TV. I’m not even doing that. I would just suggest not watching AS much TV as you know you will, but “The Office,” on NBC, you have complete permission to watch.

 

Apple Will Rule the World April 18, 2008

Filed under: Gadget, Phone, Review, life — uberfetch @ 8:45 am
Tags: , , , ,

Jail Broken Ipod Touch

        Apple will eventually rule the world…really, whether it is through the Macs that litter the home and workspace of many or through the Ipods that occupy the pockets of thousands. They are constantly coming out with new products that take the technology world, turn it upside down and completely revolutionizing it. The apple Ipod was the device that started the entire MP3 craze. It was the device that put an MP3 player into technophiles and noobs alike. Recently they have introduced another technology that has skyrocketed in popularity…the Apple Iphone/Ipod touch.

            Who knows if its popularity is do to Apples repeated process of putting out wonderful products? It has set given itself a good reputation. With the Ipod Touch/Iphone it is no different. Not many people can say that they aren’t pretty damn cool. They are shiny, and with their multi-touch screens they are pretty slick. But all things considered Apple made a mistake not letting people jailbreak their new toys. What did Apple have against people using their products for more than was allowed? Don’t people have freedom?

            If I ever got an Ipod Touch the very first thing that I would do would be to free it of it’s Apple blocked shell, allowing to put the amazing software circulating the web on it. There is software out there such as a music-making application, games, and even an IM client. It takes your 7 application Ipod and makes it 15 applications. I look at what they allow the Ipod to do and my shiny new gadget trigger in my head goes off. As if the Ipod touch and Iphone aren’t cool enough, jail breaking them, sends them over the edge.

Apple made a big mistake not allowing 3rd party software from the get-go.

            That is one of the main reasons why I chose the very buggy windows mobile phone over the Iphone. That, the $400 dollar price tag, absence of any substantial amount of memory and the bugginess. Online forums were littered and still are with loads of Iphone and Ipod touch help questions. That is expected with any new first-generation product, but that doesn’t mean I want it any more. The Iphone doesn’t allow for much freedom when it comes to what you want to put on it…unless it’s jail broken. I do not think that the Ipod touch or Iphone at the moment is worth owning unless you jail break it. It turns it into a Windows Mobile device of sorts…but a lot cooler.

All in all…I like the new Ipods that Apple has introduced. They are slick and cool and exactly what I expect from Apple. Am I disappointed Apple doesn’t allow completely open-source, third party-software, freedom…yes…I am…but who wouldn’t be. Apple is a company, just like all of the others in some respects. They are a company that wants to make money and sell their products to make money. Would I buy an Ipod touch? Yes, I probably will join the rest of America in its Apple Ipod craze (I own a 30 GB Ipod), but I’m waiting for generation two.